Bartlett's Bloopers
Often people ask me for my top tips in writing crime fiction. What are the biggest policing mistakes I read in crime fiction or see in TV crime drama. Here are my top ten tips for what crime writers should avoid.
1
It hinders rather than helps you become a senior detective if you are a hard drinking, womanising, corner-cutting maverick.
That would get you the sack rather than a promotion!
2
If your detective switches on or fiddles about with the suspect’s computer they are compromising all the evidence.
Real cops leave it alone and call in the experts.
3
Murder detectives never have just one case running at a time.
They could have half a dozen or more, some old some new, each pulling them in different directions.
4
There are very few, if any, desk sergeants at police stations anymore.
Now highly trained support staff hold the fort – not many stations open 24/7 either.
5
In England, Scotland and Wales your murder detectives would never be armed.
I know plenty in real life – was one myself once – and trust me, they are the last people you want carrying guns!
6
If an adult goes missing, police don’t make you wait 24 hours to report.
Do it straight away. Depending on risk, the response will vary but they will record it and start to investigate.
7
Senior investigating officers (detective chief inspectors/ detective superintendents) do not go round kicking doors in to arrest suspects.
They’d love to but that joy is reserved for detective constables and detective sergeants!
8
By all means have your police officers leak information to press, villains or private eyes but remember, if they get caught they’re going to jail – no wrist slaps!
There’s great suspense in them trying to get away with it though!
9
Rarely, if ever, do officers call each other by their surnames.
First names yes, nicknames most definitely, but even when being told off, the barking of surnames never happened in my experience
10
Covert tactics are call that for a reason
Your murder detectives would not go undercover nor handle informants. They are specialist roles and the tactics are not shared outside those who need to know.
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