Writing is a hard and painstaking business. As I’ve said before, a book can take up to a year to write and even longer for it to be published.
Why Books Take Forever
The publishing timeframes differ depending on which model an author chooses but the one I use, which is submitting through an agent to traditional publishers, can involve lead times upwards of a further year before a book sees the light of day.
These facts often surprise readers and certainly make many wonder why anyone writes books in the first place. However, once you’ve had a book published, all your family, friends and hopefully lots of readers know you’re an author and become fascinated with your career. That’s a wonderful feeling but there are some questions you should never ask an author for fear of provoking a sense of guilt and impostor syndrome.
The Question I Dread
“How’s the book coming on?” This one is my personal loathing. I’ve been writing books since I left the police. Some have been in contract – code for I have a publisher – others are with the view to getting a publisher. Answering the question truthfully such as “I’m really struggling with it”, “I’ve had to start it again” or “it’s on submission with publishers and I haven’t heard a dickie bird”, makes me feel a failure so my heart sinks when I hear those five words.
Fame, Fortune and Fantasy
“When are your books going to be made into a TV series?” That is something that is completely outside of my control and has not yet happened, but some readers see adaptation as the natural next step. Very few novels are turned into dramas but it doesn’t mean they are poorer than those that are.
“How has your life changed since you’ve become rich as an author?” You’ve got to be kidding! Very few authors make a decent living from writing, and few go into it with that ambition, but the implication that if an author juggles a day job they are in the minority demonstrates a complete misunderstanding of the realities of publishing.
“Did you always know you’d be famous?” Famous? Me? Some people know me, some know of me but rest assured I can walk down any street, anywhere in the world, safe from the fear of being recognised let alone mobbed.
Where Ideas Really Come From
“Where do you get your ideas from?” This one should be avoided as the answer always sounds so lame. Our ideas are all around us, in the places we go, the people we meet and the things that we do. It’s just a case of tuning into them with a writer’s antennae then propagating those seedlings into flourishing novels.
“What’s your secret to writing your books?” Again, a valid question but a disappointing answer. The only real secret is to sit down, flex your fingers and type. That’s obviously slightly tongue in cheek but if you have a story idea the best way to turn it into a book is to write it. There’s no shortcut to getting the words on the page (although don’t get me started on AI) and, if you’re anything like me, your first draft will be a complete mess but at least you’ll have something to edit, refine, then polish until you are content it’s ready to be released into the open world.
The Unpaid Favour
“Would you mind reading my manuscript and tell me what you think? It’s only 650 pages.” That’s a terrible question to ask an author who is probably struggling with their own work but may be too polite to turn you down. It’s a huge undertaking that chips into the working day and creative mindset so unless they make the offer or you’re prepared to pay them, please don’t put them in this difficult position.
What You Can Ask Instead
There are many questions you can ask authors such as, “Where can I buy your book?”, “Would you like me to leave a positive review?” and “Can you come and talk to my book club/library/women’s institute etc?” Those questions will lift their hearts and make them feel those long, lonely hours sweating over their novel and the publishing process have been worthwhile. Readers are the best and we all cherish them but some, even with the best intentions, need to know what not to say.
I originally wrote this for my weekly column in The Argus, published on Monday, 29 June 2026.
