I don’t want to get into a discussion about what it is to be British but there is something in our culture which is unfathomable yet fascinating.
Did you know that approximately ninety per cent of Britons are prone to moaning about something they are dissatisfied with yet only around twenty per cent will actually complain? I have no doubt these online figures don’t stand up to academic scrutiny but they do make a point. Moaning is informal and risk-free. It doesn’t require confrontation, it’s socially comfortable and can be cathartic. Yet it changes nothing.
Complaining on the other hand can comprise direct conflict, which many find uncomfortable. It involves the very un-British trait of making a fuss and it might even be regarded as impolite. But it can spark change.
A few years ago, the Financial Conduct Authority (of all people) listed the top ten things people would love to complain about but won’t.
They included people who queue jump, a poor meal when eating out, being ignored by a shop assistant, a parcel arriving late, travel delays, someone playing loud music or taking up extra space on public transport and a bad haircut. Each of these could trigger a moaning reflex which might feel good but does little more than that.
Four years ago, as part of a refurbishment, we bought a substantial quantity of household furniture which, on delivery, we immediately noticed was of poor quality. The national retailer we bought it from has spent all that time procrastinating, replacing some items and not others and making then breaking promises. Through sheer tenacity we have just reached a resolution with the faulty items being replaced as we first asked.
However good their other products might be, we would never use this company again. It’s experiences like this that put people off complaining as it’s mentally draining and takes a debilitating amount of time and energy.
By contrast, on a recent holiday to Egypt we experienced the opposite approach to receiving and resolving complaints. Each day, the hotel management would come around the pool area speaking to each and every guest they could, looking for feedback, positive and negative. They genuinely wanted to nip issues in the bud as well as congratulate staff for jobs well done.
We had a very minor problem on the first day which we probably wouldn’t have mentioned had they not been so proactive but when we did, it was resolved instantly and from then they would ask us if everything was still OK each time they saw us. Had we let that issue fester, firstly the hotel would not have had the opportunity to fix it and, secondly, we might have mentioned it to others which could have put them off booking this wonderful hotel.
Some companies purport to welcome complaints but then do nothing.
We recently had our boiler and heating serviced and whilst the engineer pointed out structural issues with the system (a system his own company installed) he left it full of air. Luckily, I knew how to bleed and re-pressure it but when I received the ‘how did we do’ email, I completed the feedback form yet heard nothing back.
I will always complete a delay repay application following late train travel and always get the refund even if it’s only a few pounds, though on more than one occasion I have successfully appealed when they have messed up the calculation.
My point is, whilst I will moan with the best of them, I will complain too. When I do, I always start from the position that it is rarely the person I’m speaking to or who receives my email who is at fault, so I remain polite, focused and will seek to jointly resolve the problem.
I know that most people genuinely try to provide the best service or quality of the product so refrain from personal slights. However, I will always keep going until I am satisfied that we have reached an adequate and proportionate resolution and that the company learned the lessons so future customers and clients can receive a better service than I did.
I am not sure me slavishly applying for delay repay will solve the rail reliability crisis for the nation, but I’ll keep trying.
I originally wrote this for my weekly column in The Argus, published on Monday, 15 December 2025.
